There has been a new trend circling the social media; a Facebook group named "Samahan ng mga Hiwalay sa Asawa." At first glance, the name depicts a support group for the separated from romantic partners either legally or not. We cannot conclude that separation is a consequence of an unsatisfied relationship (Ditzen, 2004). It could possible be a result of infidelity. Whichever reason presented, we cannot simply deny the psychological and emotional stress that they are experiencing.
Thus, people undergoing such experience wants to cope in ever way that they can just to be done with the pain. That could be the reason on the conception of this Facebook page. This should be a good thing since the most important fact about self-help and support groups is that they are made up of fellow sufferers (Kurtz, 1997). However, as I browse on this group, there are just some opinions that came to my mind while observing this subculture.
1. Killing boredom.
These people have been on a relationship with much love. They devoted time, effort and emotion and maybe even more for their relationship. They may be saturated with the presence of each other. Especially with the younger generation where they demand more time from their partners. Taking a long time to reply might ignite a fire. Then suddenly, the relationship is gone. The partner that once has been “their world” is no longer available. These people might be longing for the deep or sweet conversation and attention that they are getting with their past partners that is why they are compensating this feeling by killing their boredom in the best way that they know. On a study by Andreassen, Pallesen, and Griffiths (2017), they found out that the social media is addictive since it is used to feed the ego and it attempts to inhibit a negative self-evaluation.
2. The Sugar Mommy/Daddy Culture
Sadly, the Sugar Mommy/Daddy has been part of our culture where everyone is aware of it. As we walk on the streets, we can always see some old people with younger partners. Our brain automatically casts its prejudice on these people as having a relationship revolving around money. If you look closely, it is a story one person having resources, looking for intimacy and another person deprived of resources that is willing to give anything to survive this world. It is very disturbing to see this kind of culture turned into humor.
3. Body-Shaming Culture
We are drowned by standards. No matter who you are or what you look like, chances are there have been times when you have been made to feel that your body is not normal, acceptable or good enough (Chomet, 2017). With all these insecurities, part of this page’s humor is the compensation of body shaming. Flaunting exaggeratedly and at times, unrealistically, the standards that the society is expecting from us just to receive our ideal type of relationship.
4. Objectifying Single Moms
I have seen much worse posts than here. These people are looking for single mom that will willingly succumb to their sexual request. These people are expecting that they can convince these single moms easier since these women already had sexual experience. It is also disturbing to think that some people are objectifying single parents for sexual advances.
References:
Andreassen, C. S., Pallesen, S., & Griffiths, M. D. (2017). The relationship between addictive use of social media, narcissism, and self-esteem: Findings from a large national survey. Addictive Behaviors, 64, 287-293. doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.addbeh.2016.03.006
Chomet, N. (2017). Coping with Body Shaming: Rosen Publishing Group.
Ditzen, B. (2004). Effects of Romantic Partner Interaction on Psychological and Endocrine Stress Protection in Women: Cuvillier Verlag.
Kurtz, L. F. (1997). Self-Help and Support Groups: A Handbook for Practitioners: SAGE Publications.